Skip to content

Step 2: LISTEN

Listen to your self-talk.  What is the dialogue that is going on in your head? Often times the negative self-criticism, judgment and doubt has become so much a part of our daily lives that we don’t even notice it. Begin to notice. Pay attention to the dishonoring beliefs about yourself. Would you be this critical of your own child or someone you loved? I discovered that I was much harder on myself than I ever would be with my child. Extend the same compassion and love to yourself as you do to others.

Some common thinking pitfalls to watch out for are:

  • Awfulizing = exaggerate how negative an event or person is. Example: “He is totally inconsiderate because he rarely does the dishes.”
  • Distress intolerance = underestimate ability to recover from a painful event. Example: “Won’t be able to live through a divorce.”
  • Learned helplessness = simply give up because feel have no power to change negative circumstances. Example: “Why bother?”
  • Perfectionism = strive to be faultless rather than just successful. Example: Pay more attention to small details that went wrong rather than big picture of everything that went right.
  • Negative self-fulfilling expectations = draw negative responses from others by communicating that one expects a negative reaction. Example: “You probably don’t want to go with me anyway.”
  • Rejection goggles = see rejections everywhere even in normal circumstances. Even the most minor rejection can be seen as a major slight.

Another easy way to recognize negative thinking patterns is to ask yourself, “Is this thought coming from a place of love or a place of fear?” If it is some form of fear, you want to FLIP IT! To continue with Step 3 click here